Couples in married, engaged, or long-term relationships are the most likely to stay together after infidelity, according to a study led by Dr Kathy Nickerson.
The research, published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, found that more than three-quarters of respondents who experienced an affair ended up remaining with their partner.
For partners who were cheated on, the formalisation of the relationship proved to be the single strongest predictor of whether the couple would reconcile. Those who were married, engaged, or in established long-term unions were far more likely to stay together than those in casual dating relationships.
Reconciliation rates increased significantly when the unfaithful partner took active steps to rebuild trust. Providing reassurance, answering questions, validating the hurt partner's feelings, showing affection, maintaining open communication, and blocking contact with the affair partner all boosted the likelihood of staying together.
Among long-term couples where the partner who cheated answered questions and severed contact with the affair partner, 93 per cent remained together.
Factors influencing unfaithful partners
The study also examined the motivations and feelings of the individuals who initiated the affairs. Researchers found that persistent love for their original partner throughout the infidelity was by far the strongest predictor that they would end the affair and reconcile.
Those who retained no strong feelings for their affair partner were the most likely to stay. Even among respondents who admitted to falling in love with their affair partner, the majority were still more likely to remain with their original companion over the long term than to leave them.
Relationship therapists often point out that recovering from infidelity requires structured communication and professional intervention. High-profile couples have also navigated similar struggles in the public eye. Rapper Jay Z publicly admitted to past infidelity during his marriage to singer Beyonce, later revealing that the couple underwent extensive therapy to repair their relationship and preserve their marriage.
Myths challenged by relationship experts
Writing in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, the research team highlighted three widespread assumptions about infidelity that their findings challenge. The first myth is that saving a relationship after an affair is rare or virtually impossible. Among individuals seeking support for post-infidelity recovery, staying together emerged as the prevailing outcome.
The second myth challenged by the study is that love and infidelity cannot coexist. Many unfaithful partners reported that they continued to love their spouse or partner throughout the affair, with that ongoing affection frequently serving as the foundation for staying together.
The third myth is that relationship quality automatically degrades following an affair. Many respondents, particularly among those who broke their commitment, reported that relationship quality actually improved rather than declined after addressing the infidelity.
Survey methodology and limitations
To conduct the study, researchers surveyed 1,151 individuals who had cheated on a partner and 2,278 individuals whose partners had cheated on them. Participants completed questionnaires assessing the state of their relationships before, during, and after the affair, as well as details surrounding how the cheating was discovered, presence of children, relationship quality, therapy attendance, and feelings toward all parties involved.
The study was led by Dr Kathy Nickerson, a licensed relationship psychologist based in the United States who specializes in marital reconciliation and betrayal recovery. The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy is a peer-reviewed academic publication that features clinical research on couple dynamics, intimacy, and relationship interventions.
Dr Nickerson and her colleagues cautioned that the high preservation rates observed in the study might not reflect the broader general population. Because study participants were recruited through online communities and social media groups dedicated to reconciliation after infidelity, respondents were already predisposed toward staying together.
