Television critic Jim Shelley has published a series of reviews for MailOnline, evaluating major British television programmes and holiday broadcasts across the BBC and ITV networks.
Writing on December 26, 2021, Shelley assessed the Call The Midwife Christmas Day special as a surreal and nightmarish episode that left viewing millions choking on their mince pies and wondering whether festive eggnog was responsible for terrible hallucinations. The 90-minute festive episode had begun in a classic, cosy, and comforting style before shifting tone in a manner that lacked Christmas spirit.
The episode depicted a newborn baby addicted to heroin and featured a scene where a black leech sucked blood from the eye of a bride-to-be, leaving her left eyelid and the leech hideously swollen. In another scene, Sister Frances uttered the word "anus" and promised a patient who did not know what or where her perineum was, "I'll draw you a diagram!"
Christmas Specials and Cult Adaptations
On January 1, 2020, Shelley reviewed the three-part BBC adaptation of Dracula, created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. He wrote that the co-creators turned Dracula into "Sherlock 2", presenting Transylvania's vampire as Moriarty with fangs and Van Helsing as Holmes with a crucifix. He added that the opening episode functioned as a compilation of genre tropes, calling it a "vampires' Greatest Hits" and a "Tribute to Transylvania: 'Fangs For The Memories.'"
Shelley noted that the production combined modern horror series such as True Blood, Hannibal, and The Walking Dead with 1970s and 1980s parodies including Love At First Bite and Mel Brooks' Dracula: Dead And Loving It, starring Leslie Nielsen.
In a Christmas review published on December 26, 2019, Shelley criticised the BBC for remaking Worzel Gummidge, starring Mackenzie Crook as the 1980s scarecrow. Shelley argued that broadcasters continued to remake and ruin national favourite programmes, citing Dad's Army and Porridge alongside Worzel Gummidge. He noted that 38 years had elapsed since July 31, 1981, when the final Jon Pertwee episode was screened.
Shelley also targeted the December 2019 festive edition of sitcom Gavin & Stacey, listing 10 terrible moments from what he described as an embarrassing Christmas special. Highlights included Nessa proposing to Smithy, James Corden using his "Gavalar!" greeting, and Pam skanking to "Dreadlock Holiday". In November 2019, he reviewed the BBC adaptation of His Dark Materials, calling it "Harry Potter without the magic. Stuart Little without the charm. A bit too Torchwood..." and concluding it was ironically not dark enough.
Documentaries and Reality Competitions
In November 2019, Shelley reviewed Sir David Attenborough's natural history series Seven Worlds, One Planet. He described footage showing human treatment of orang-utans as the most shocking and sickening David Attenborough had ever broadcast. In a separate episode, Shelley likened a baby albatross overcoming the elements to a scene from Game Of Thrones, describing it as heroic, traumatic, and brutal, and stating that Attenborough set a personal best for making viewers suffer.
Turning to business reality show The Apprentice, Shelley highlighted candidate ignorance during the October 2019 series. Contestants asked, "Does anyone know when the second World War started? And how long did it go on for?" causing Shelley to express concern for Lord Sugar's £250,000 investment. Despite the errors, candidate Iasha Masood and her imaginary customer "Sophisticated Sarah" helped Team Empower secure orders worth £1,240,000.
Shelley recorded further missteps on The Apprentice, including a toy design task for children aged six to eight that featured Tommy the Talking Turtle, unicorns, slime, and Polaris missiles. A confectionery task saw male candidates create phallic lollies, making the female team's cherry Cola and liquorice flavours appealing to Lord Sugar. In another episode, the female team managed by a "librarian from hell" selected wine-tasting over a safari, while the male team lost due to poor decision-making, leading Shelley to express sympathy for Lord Sugar.
Culinary Series and Final Rounds
Shelley monitored Channel 4's culinary competition The Great British Bake Off throughout autumn 2019. During the final episode, favorite contestant Steph fell at the final hurdle, joining previous finalists Ruby Tandoh and James Morton, as contestant David secured the title. Shelley noted that David proved Star Baker was best avoided to win the final.
Earlier in the series during Patisserie Week, contestant Rosie discussed pig castration with host Noel Fielding, while Alice, David, and Steph advanced to the final. During Pastry Week, fear of a "soggy bottom" affected all five contestants after Paul Hollywood's critique, leading to Henry being unfairly eliminated despite previously exclaiming "Shut up!" when receiving a Hollywood handshake. Shelley added that Steph's three consecutive Star Baker awards represented only the second hat-trick in the history of the show, reflecting what he termed declining culinary standards.
Shelley also covered Celebrity MasterChef in September and October 2019. Reality personality Vicky Pattison transformed her cooking skills to become the winner, despite athlete Greg Rutherford comparing the trophy to "an Olympic gold medal". Former boxing manager Kellie Maloney impressed judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace with a heavy banana soufflé, whereas contestant Joey Essex created "Stirotto", a combination of stir-fry and risotto that the judges deemed inedible.
