Woman exchanges the US for Germany and says: “Best decision I ever made”

Melissa Vargas He spent much of his life “fulfilling steps” to be seen as a successful person. But as she approached 30 years, she began to question the direction her life was taking.

Although she was standing out in her career in digital marketing and strictly followed everything that “people said she needed to do,” Melissa felt she wasn’t really experiencing new experiences – and had fallen into a comfort zone.

It was during a longer trip to Europe for a wedding in 2016 that something changed. Until then, she had not gone far beyond Mexico and the Caribbean. But when visiting Munich in Germany, he had a different feeling.

A bold decision

“People were simply enjoying life,” she told CNN TRAVEL . The idea of ​​relaxing seemed strange to Melissa, who came from the frantic rhythm of New York, where everything is “always running, running, running.”

A few months after returning to the US, she got a job at a German agency and, at the end of 2017, moved to Munich. Today, almost eight years later, he is still there.

“Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made,” he says. “If I hadn’t done that at that time, I think I would never have done it.”

Melissa says she was already tired of the “work a lot, very short” mindset from New York and wanted a change. “I think when I reached 28, I started to think that life had to be more than that.”

Born in the Dominican Republic and raised from a baby in the city of New York, she never felt that she fully fitted there. “I think I was at a time when I needed something different.”

Over time, he realized that he lived according to the expectations of others – and not with his own desires.

“I grew up in a very difficult neighborhood, I got high school scholarship, then for the University of Syracuse, and graduated with two diplomas,” he says. “I did everything the immigrant family expects you to do.”

Wanting to leave the comfort zone, Melissa decided to play in the most challenging situation she could imagine: moving to a country where she had only been once and whose language she did not speak.

“I felt I was limiting myself when keeping my circle closed. New York is a bubble. You only realize that when you get out of there.”

Beginning of a new life

Shortly after returning from the trip, she applied for a place in Munich and was excited when she was accepted.

According to Melissa, the company was fundamental in the work visa process-necessary for foreigners outside the European Union-even hiring a lawyer to help her in change.

“I took a month off. Then he went to pack 28 years of life in three bags. I had to leave behind several beautiful shoes,” he jokes.

She said goodbye to her family and friends, embarked to Munich with a scale in Lisbon and arrived in the new city on a Sunday – when everything was closed, and she couldn’t even eat something to eat when she arrived at the apartment.

The next day, he went after the fiscal registration (mandatory in Germany to start working). It only really managed to enter the new office about two to three weeks later.

In the first months, she struggled to dive into the Bavarian culture And I loved how much it seemed new and exciting.

“I thought, ‘I’m here, making it happen, just like the’ Emily in Paris’ series. But it was before the series! I was Melissa in Munich. Pioneer!” He jokes.

However, even going to the supermarket could be stressful. “I spent two hours inside without having an idea of ​​what I was buying.”

Despite loving the Christmas mood and traditional Christmas markets, when the New Year arrived, time was always cloudy and rainy. That’s when she started questioning her decision.

“You catch yourself thinking, ‘Wow, that’s what I chose?’” She recognizes that the first year in a new country is always the hardest. “It’s the moment you can decide whether it really is for you. I almost gave up a few times.”

But she was determined: “I thought, if I can overcome this discomfort and, in the end, still want to go back, New York will continue there. And that’s what I repeated.”

A new rhythm

Bringing time to adapt to Germany’s slower pace was a challenge, but also an opportunity for a fresh start. “It took me years to detach me from New York’s chaotic energy.”

She says that Sundays in Germany are “Ruhetag” – rest day . “You shouldn’t make a noise, like piercing wall or putting loud music. I put music, because I’m Latin,” he laughs. “But I avoid giving strength.”

The famous German frankness was also easy to accept. “This was one of the reasons why I was displaced in New York. I’m very direct – sometimes even too much – so it was a relief to be among equally frank people. Here, I don’t need to measure the words.”

Despite the reputation of tireless workers, she says that Germans value balance very much.

“When I told you that I was going to Germany, my friends said, ‘Wow, no one relaxes there, they just work.’ But it’s not like that. They work hard, yes, but there’s a big focus on balance and well-being.”

She loved to find that the country has nine national holidays and that her vacation increased from 10 to about 30 days a year.

Melissa was also enchanted by the connection that the Germans have with nature – in summer, she spends all day outdoors. “Actually, I don’t even have television. I decided to dive into this lifestyle. And I love it.”

As for the cost of living, she finds Germany much more affordable than the United States. “I can fill the refrigerator with about 100 euros. Everything is accessible, cheap and of much superior quality.”

She says that when visiting New York, she even avoids buying meat. “The quality there fell too much.”

“Embrace the change”

Melissa says she feels extremely safe living in Germany – one of the safest countries in the world. Already even unleashed to look around before opening the door.

“The worst thing happened was to steal my bike a year.”

She planned to be just a few years, but ended up eight – and now has permanent residence.

When he moved, he already spoke French, Italian and English, and thought that learning German would be easy. But underestimated the difficulty.

“German is very difficult,” he says. But he dedicated himself a lot and today can go to the doctor or exchange messages with friends in the language.

“I’m the type who, when she learns a language, wants to understand all the details. And the madman of the German is that everything has a logic – there is always a why.”

Regarding recent political tensions in the country, with the advance of far-right parties, she says she follows the news, but that does not affect her daily life.

“I never felt political ideologies that made me feel excluded or insecure.” On the contrary, she felt more exposed to this type of division when she lived in the US.

Almost a decade after the change, Melissa no longer finds back to New York. “Some of my friends are here in Europe, others moved to other cities. Everyone left New York. And for me, that I grew up there, it was great while it lasted. But today, I don’t know what it would be like to live there again.”

During these years, she traveled a lot around Europe – she met Italy, France and Spain – and even thought of moving to the latter, her maternal grandmother’s homeland. But for now, it intends to continue where it is.

“I always wanted to know the Spanish side of my family better. Unfortunately, I haven’t found anyone here with genetic connections yet.”

“Maybe my ultimate goal is to live in Spain. But for now, I’m enjoying life in Germany a lot.”

Melissa advises anyone who thinks of changing country to keep their minds and hearts open.

“The most important thing is to be open. You will feel uncomfortable all the time, you will be in totally new environments. But do not fall into the temptation to close. Embrace the change with open arms.”

“Every new experience will teach you something. And you will become a better person.”

She was able to build a network of friends in Munich and had this community to face the hardest moment of life: the loss of mother.

“Having this support network made all the difference. My friends were my base. And I think that’s when everything was established for good.”

Melissa still misses some New York things – restaurants, fashion, diversity – but reinforces that getting out of everything she knew and reinventing herself was liberating.

She doesn’t regret anything and believes she has grown a lot as a person since she arrived in Germany.

“I always had family and friends around. There was always a plan, someone to help me. But in this situation, the only person who could help me was myself. And I needed it. I needed to give me a chance to grow.”

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