Things to ask yourself before joining a private club

In Italy every year about 700 thousand people attend private club: an extremely significant number for an extensive phenomenon, on which no one has ever investigated in depth.

“My first time in a private club: 50 couples tell stories” is a book-investigation, published by Erga Edizioni, just released in the bookstore, which explores a little known world cloaked in mystery. She does it without prejudice and without making judgments, entrusting the stories of 50 couples with the task of telling the motivations, hesitations, fears, feelings that have accompanied them until they cross the door of a private club.

“It’s possible look for the sexual novelty without falling into betrayal, as long as both partners agree – explains the doctor Chiara Camerani, short-term strategic psychologist specializing in sexual psychopathology and criminology – Accepting that your partner has fantasies or difficulties allows you to support each other, to negotiate each other’s boundaries, and to grant agreed, non-stolen areas of freedom. For this, they are mainly the happy, mature and communicative couplesto face the swinging experience better and with satisfaction ».

“The stories were selected from those collected in the clubs belonging to our association – says the author Augusto Pistilli, president of ASX-Assosex, the only association that brings together private clubs also at a European level and which boasts over 400 thousand members a year – The protagonists are of different ages, geographical origins, some are beautiful, very beautiful, so-so, overweight, different in social class and activity work, with physical problems or even severe disabilities. “We feared the physical appearance was a handicap”, “We were afraid of not being accepted”, “We were afraid of being recognized”, these are the perplexities that most frequently have expressed to us. Instead, everyone finds out a world made of absolute respect, welcome, freedom, fun, imagination, complicity, education. In private clubs, any form of abuse is banned and it is a world where, unlike what often happens, it is above all the woman who decides in absolute freedom and autonomy“.

But who exactly are the swingers? And what do you need to know before joining a private club? We explored the topic with Dr. Camerani.

Let’s start with an eternal question, the eternal debate: is the human being really monogamous by nature or is he inclined towards polygamy?
«Ethology helps us to respond in this sense. In nature, species with large testicles tend to be more unfaithful. Therefore a large production of spermatozoa pushes the males of the species to mate more often and with different partners. Man is a middle ground: he has testicles of sufficient size to make him unfaithful, but not so large that he cannot control himself. It follows that people more sensitive to the cultural and social norm, with some sacrifices, can remain faithful to their partner. Then there is a good portion of the population that allows themselves escapades hiding them from their partner, while a small portion, on the other hand, chooses swinging. And perhaps it is not even correct to say “minimal”, considering that a survey carried out in the nineties in North America counted about five million practitioners ».