The Subtlety of Prejudice

I was at a business lunch and there were only men around me – most of whom I didn’t know. It was when we started talking that I realized that I was not heard by that group. If the dialogues between them were eloquent, for me they were limited to a smile, a nod or a short answer. And then they started talking to each other again.

Once again I realized that I was treated as someone accessory and whose presence there was just “cute”. And if that wasn’t enough that I’m female, I’m transgender – which further adds to the pressure that gender puts on my work.

It is a fact that I am privileged: in a country that marginalizes many trans people, I am a successful executive and occupy prominent positions. Recognized in more than one area, such as insurance, artificial intelligence and sustainability, I am also a published author. But if there’s something I can’t get over, it’s this preconception that the other sometimes has about me – which takes some time to break.

I don’t think it’s unique to me. Some executive friends have similar complaints in situations like the one I’ve described. It seems that we are constantly fighting for spaces that were not intended for us.

Then I wonder if there is any way out, or rather, as I heard from a colleague “How do we change all that, Dani?”. I don’t have the exact answers, but I do have some clues.

Start by working in organizations that have structured diversity programs. It also involves sisterhood and learning to impose ourselves and express ourselves firmly in difficult situations, even if we are called “genius” or “temperamental”.

But there is a piece of this whole that is bigger. I take comfort in saying that we don’t expect a trans woman to be a successful executive, and that gives rise to many of the setbacks I experience.

And the long-awaited pride month comes.

Countless companies invite me to speak about my book and career. It’s beautiful to see people engaged in welcoming the LGBTQIA+ community, after all, it wasn’t always like this.

Perhaps the wish I have is that community inclusion efforts not be limited to June. Because we continue to be LGBTQIA+ people all year round and not just in the month of June.

And when we talk about inclusion and diversity, it is up to each of us to think about our role. Maybe start by reflecting on these subtle manifestations of prejudice, like the one I described at the beginning of the article.