Picnic & Panic: Semiseria guide to the perfect escape (or almost)

The idea of ​​the picnic is increasingly poetic than reality: a meadow in bloom, a square tablecloth, baskets full of delicacies, laughter and relaxation. Then, you find yourself dragging a heavier fridge bag than your life expectancy, while you desperately look for a shadow corner that is not already occupied by a more organized group. In the meantime, the wind decides that your salad must be distributed fairly on the whole hill and, after the first bite at the sandwich, find out you are
Sitting on an anthill.

Still, the picnic exerts an irresistible charm. So if we really want to try again, let’s make it avoiding classic mistakes. Here is a short guide survival to spring picnics.

The false promises of the perfect picnic

Of course, how not. You will find yourself walking for kilometers on uphill ground with an XXL fridge bag, while the rest of the group discusses for half an hour on “where there is more shadow”, without raising a finger to help you.

Ah yes? So why does someone have an entire form of pecorino with them and a magnum of warm prosecco, ready to offer it as if it were vintage champagne while everyone pretending enthusiasm and desperately looking for non -existent ice?

The weather says “a cheerful spring breeze”. Translation? A unknown hurricane that lifts the tablecloth as if it were ready for take -off and transforms your crabkers into shuriken flying directed to the eyes of the diners.

The food that is not good for a picnic (even if Instagram says yes)

Yes, it’s good. Yes, it makes a stage. But after 10 minutes in the sun it becomes an experiment of biochemistry, and after 20 it could start moving alone. After 30, perhaps, it swallows you. Sharl alternative: brings a smoked scamorza or a nice well drained mozzarella. Less
risk of dairy floors.

Nice idea, on paper. Then transport it to the backpack, and find out that the shortcrust pastry broke into 97 pieces and the filling has turned into a kind of shapeless pulp. Meanwhile, you cry. Sharr alternative: a stuffed focaccia. Same pleasure and zero structural collapse.

In theory: romantic, elegant, fresh. In practice: the cream melts, the strawberries sweat, the container is reversed and everything takes on the appearance of a crime scene. Shab alternative: strawberries already cut, served with compact Greek yogurt. They keep themselves better and do not seem a failed experiment of molecular dessert.

Bringing a nice bottle looks like a great idea. Too bad that nobody will ever remember the corkscrew. There are two options at this point:
• try to open it with makeshift means (keys, lighters, acts of pure despair).
• Look at wine with sadness and cursing.
Shab: Soft Drinks. Practical, fresh and make you look smarter than
others.

What to bring really

If you want to avoid panic and enjoy the picnic without too many tragedies, focus on these unexpected -proof foods:

Stable, solid, reliable. They don’t disassemble, they don’t betray you. They are the faithful friends of the picnic. (Bonus points if you wrap them in parchment paper to look organized). Deluxe proposal: stuffed focaccia with mortadella and stracciatella. 10/10 taste, risk of dissolution: 0.

They make you feel organized, but above all they remain intact and do not overthrow in the basket. Smart proposal: spelled salad with cherry tomatoes, feta and olives. Easy, fresh, it does not disassemble like a Caesar Salad with sad lettuce.

It cuts with your hands, does not crumble too much and resists at every temperature. Stressless proposal: a lemon donut. It remains perfect even after hours outside
from the fridge and nobody has to bring out knives or saucers.

It might seem trivial, but it is the stroke of genius that saves your day. Why?
• You don’t have to look for a corkscrew.
• No glass bottles to be transported.
But in the end, does the perfect picnic exist? No. But at least, with the right choices, it will not become a
Survival Game. And with good food, some friends who knows how to laugh about misfortunes