How to manage anger with mindfulness

Raise your hand who has never found themselves there and then to lose their temper. Or maybe he did, only to repent and apologize. Moments of anger happen to everyone. The point lies in not letting yourself be overwhelmed by this typically human emotion which, if poorly controlled, can become inappropriate and, in the worst cases, dangerous. But how is it done?

«Some of us are used to considering anger as a reprehensible emotion, of those
that you can’t feel unless you’re a bad person», explains the psychotherapist And Mindfulness teacher Caroline Traversoauthor of the essay Calm Mind Open Heart, in which he explains very clearly what mindfulness is and how it is practiced. «Anger is actually a legitimate emotion, which we can all feel in the face of disappointment or the perception that we have been wronged, that our rights, or those of someone else, have been violated. In this sense, anger can give us useful information about what doesn’t suit us and that we don’t intend to let go. AND it can be a very powerful engine in generating personal and social change. However, it is important that anger is not acted impulsively because it risks manifesting itself in an explosive and harmful way both for those who express it and for those who suffer it”.

But what is behind a fit of anger?
«Generally, the difficulty in modulating this emotion. Sometimes this happens because nobody taught us the value of doing it. Other times instead our anger manifests itself disproportionately because the event that aroused it reminds us of past events that are still very painful. Tiredness and stress also play an important role in the modulation of anger and emotions in general, making us more impulsive”.

How can mindfulness help control anger?
«Mindfulness teaches us to be with an emotion, to get to know it thoroughly in its inner manifestations, to see what thoughts and physical sensations it is made of, without acting hastily. It’s a training not to run away from what we feel by seeking relief in words and actions that we may later regret. Mindfulness does not teach us to repress anger, but to modulate it so as to make more constructive choices, avoiding or limiting the collateral damage that this mismanaged emotion often generates”.

How does it work, concretely?
“Mindfulness, that is the art of being present to ourselves and our surroundings cultivating one
calm mind and an open heart, he trains both through moments of meditation and through attention to what happens inside and outside of us in the most disparate moments of the day. There are courses that allow you to practice it correctly and with benefit, such as the
MBSR program which I personally practice and teach online after years of training in the United States with Jon Kabat-Zinn, its creator. To get closer there are books and also the possibility of practicing with free audio which can be easily found online. For an exercise to be applied immediately, I would recover the wisdom of some grandmothers: when you’re angry, count to 10, take deep breaths, or walk around before saying or doing things you might later regret.”.

What other emotions can benefit from it?
“All”.

After how long of practice do you see the first effects?
“It varies but, in general, after 8 weeks of the MBSR program many people report
to feel more able to manage emotions and to be more present to themselves, as well as in
relationships and at work.

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